relax

I obviously have not written anything in a very long time. The world has a habit of swallowing me whole sometimes. Recently, I've felt more than a little overwhelmed. But word on the street is, you are too. Whenever I talk to my friends, no matter where they are, they seem overwhelmed. SO! Lets talk.

10 ways to RELAX:

1) Write a little. Write a letter to someone and never send it. Journal. Short story. Poem. Whatever, sometimes siting down and writing is the only way to untangle to chaos in your heart. Or head.

2) Find good music. Bon Iver, John Mayer and The Flaming Lips usually get me in a state where I can finally breathe again. Just plug in and don't answer the phone, door, text, email... Just listen and float. It can really do wonders.

3)Run away. Ok, I don't mean pack a bag and hitch a ride (although rock on if you do). I mean disappear for a weekend. It really can help you re-focus yourself. Turn off your phone. Get a whole bunch of rockin' movies and cook some single serving meals and just be.  It'll re-charge you.

4)Speaking of good movies... watch some. Find something that you like and watch it from start to finish without getting up or texting or anything. It's going to be ok if you actually sit still for 2 hours.

5) Or not. Maybe sitting still makes you sit still for days instead of a few hours. If that rings a bell, get up. Now. Go run, walk or stroll outside for thirty minutes. Ride a bike. Grab some chalk and a sidewalk. Sometimes just moving will help you gain more energy and feel less "punched in the face".

6) De-Tox! College usually means a whole slew of unhealthy stuff. Junk food being one of the legal ways college kids make themselves sick. Stop. Maybe not forever, I'm not THAT zen... but for a month or so. Just eat healthier. Don't stay up so late. Drink water instead of coffee. Make time to eat breakfast. Go a little old school and act like you did back when mom drove you to school. It'll refresh you. Promise.

7) Get thinking. And not just school work style. I mean watch a documentary. Read a good book. Try and learn a new language. It's good for you and it'll make your head happy.

8) Girls notoriously love a good bubble bath. Take one. You too, boys. No one really needs to know that you took a bubble bath. But the power of pampering yourself is tremendously helpful.

9) breathe.

10) repeat

Maybe I'm wrong...

... but it seems to me there are an extraordinary amount of people on this campus with little to no friends.

 Even as I think this, my mind jumps to trying to make excuses for myself and others.

“I have tons of friends here!” “They’re probably just exaggerating when they say they’re feeling lonely”

But those excuses don’t always hold any merit. I think people are just scared to come right out and say it sometimes.

“Making really good friends in college is HARD”

Maybe some of you didn't have any trouble finding amazing people right off the bat that understood you and were like you. I am. I have several good friends here; don’t get me wrong at all. But it has been really hard to find people that I feel 100% comfortable and happy around. Then it occurred to me. I had felt this way before. In high school. How gross and cliché to remember that high school felt like that. I naturally cringe at words like “lonely” and phrases like “fitting in.” And yet… Here I am trying to understand why both are so relevant to many of my friends across the United States.

Here’s the deal team. It takes time. It takes time and unexpected experiences with people to bond them. By the end of our four years we’ll have plenty of people we’re extremely close to. We’ll have stories of nearly being arrested, pond hoping all over campus, and all-nighters that ended with us nearly overdosing on espresso. Those tiny things we do day in and day out, those risks we take with new people are vital. Because those combined with a little time are going to create the strongest relationships of our lives. The good, the bad and the terribly ugly in our life are going to eventually lead us to know people who are the rocks in our lives.

So as I remind you, I remind myself. Be patient and loving. Take a chance on people and don’t be afraid to get out there.

As cliché and horrifyingly cringe inducing as this is to post, I’m going to. Sometimes those disgustingly “feel good” commentaries are necessary reminders of what’s to come. So don't stress about it and enjoy college.

Tomorrow

Procrastination. When I say that, many people jump to the images of homework left undone, phone calls to be made and laundry to do. But this isn’t what makes procrastinating so terrible and wasteful.

Yes, your grades would suffer substantially if homework wasn’t done. We know the consequences of letting old relationships from home fall through the cracks. And laundry left undone would make for a myriad of issues I hope I don’t need to detail. What’s less glaring about the dangers of procrastination is the kind that isn't tangible.

Hear me out. So many of my friends have a bucket list of sorts. Written or unwritten, People are always announcing small and seemingly less pressing goals of theirs.

“I wanna learn how to scuba dive.” “I’ve always missed playing soccer, I never do it anymore.” “I want to play hockey for the NHL.”

Everyone wants something. While some of our hopes are seen as a tad unrealistic -I’m not actually convinced I’d be a great and inspiring guitar player… - it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still reach for them. The horrible and somewhat macabre truth (and cliché) is that we have to live each day as if it were our last. We don’t have any time to waste at all. If I was to die tomorrow, I’d want to be wholly satisfied with my day. Completely content with exactly where my life was going.

A dismal thought, but procrastinating is a road that will only lead to us having fond memories of dreams we once had. We have to try and discover if it’s something we actually like or something we idealized more than we should have. We have to at least try

So maybe I’ll never be a stellar and world famous guitar player. But I’m still convinced I should try it. Not someday, but today. Maybe I’ll fail horribly. But at the end of the day, I tried it. And I didn’t wait until tomorrow to see.

So go do something. Be proud of your day and your life. 

 (terrible I know. At least he went for it!)

“I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” – Carl Sandburg 

I’m the only College Kid who doesn’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow

I know, even as many of you read that title, you thought to yourself “Hold on, I TOTALLY feel the same way!” Wanna know why? Because EVERY COLLEGE KID IS TOTALLY CONFUSED 95% OF THE TIME!

From K-12, I have been prepped, pushed and even harassed about “being ready for college.” There was never, EVER the notion that college wasn’t going to happen. Only the big and prophetic “WHEN.”

But here, my friends, lies the catch. Not a single person prepared me for when I would be in college. Oh, sure… I can write an essay, all-nighters are nothing if not normal to me. I can do math, chem labs, cram for a midterm and I know how to do research like I know how to breathe. But that isn’t the whole picture.

We get here, ready to learn. In some cases ready to get liver failure or earn our MRS degree. But my first semester in college, all I heard from every single person I knew was “I don’t have any friends here…” “Why in the hell did I schedule so many 8am classes, it’s way too much?” and even the occasional “I think I’m meant to be at another college…”

To anyone reading this in college, you’re so not alone. As cliché as that statement sounds, I am not lying. From Indiana to Texas, California to New Jersey, Colorado to Arkansas, everyone is struggling at different points. One minute you feel like you’ve finally figured it out. Joined a good group, met some people you like and maybe discovered you and your roomie could be great friends. And then, like a speeding train slamming into a stalled car on the tracks, everything turns explosive and chaotic. Those friends were not what you thought, your grades are harder to maintain and your roomie keeps his/her dirty laundry everywhere. (side note: I ADORE my roomie. You’re the best Robby)

No matter how many times you think you’ve got it figured out, you don’t. After trying and failing to figure out when I was going to be able to pull it all together and have that Hollywood-esqe, happy ending college experience, I heard a gem of advice I want to share.

We've prepared all our lives for college. College is preparing us for all our life.

As cringe-inducing and horrifyingly cliché as it is, I said it. Well, typed it. Because it is entirely true. These insane roller coasters of highs and lows are meant to teach us about what’s waiting for us off campus.

It’s how we deal with these issues that shape how we’ll handle the bigger and scarier trials of tomorrow.

With that in mind, I’m going to try and face my History exam with a smiling face, and a happy heart. It won’t be the end of the world if I do terribly. The situations I face are going to be met by a strong, fearless and entirely optimistic B.

I know you’ll do the same.

Best of luck this week. I hope you all manage it with a smile and a kick-ass, take no prisoner attitude.

End Note: To those of you still in high school: College is awesome amounts of fun and horrendously terrifying. Get excited and know that you’ve made it this far. You’re indestructible. 

Never been much of a Blogger

I've never been much of a blogger. Diary writer? Absolutely! Had various diaries since I was in the fifth grade. But I've never wanted to publish my personal thoughts and musings for the entire planet to view, if they so pleased.


My excuses ranged from my inability to write eloquently to the idea that no one would want to read about what goes on in the crazy labyrinth of my head anyway.


But I ran out of excuses, because I'm constantly inspired by the musings of people posted online. And while it might be insanely selfish to think that what I write might inspire, I want to do it anyway.


The ExtraOrdinary Optimist is all about taking the problems of others or the dilemmas I see around campus and attempting to answer them with pure optimism and hope. Feel free to agree/disagree/remain unchanged in your feelings. But my ultimate hope is to remind everyone that people around you are suffering too. If we take a minute to have compassion towards them - it'll head your way eventually as well.